Post-Secret

I'm desperately clinging to someone else because I can't be clinging to you.

Me Without You: A Love Letter.

I have always gotten what I wanted.  Even you, I finally got you after chasing after you for years. Losing you, though, is always painful. Especially when I lost you after our time together never went awry.

First and foremost, let me just say that I do just want you to be happy, and I want to stay in each other's lives, like you said. And I want to be happy, too, which I am. I just think it's unfortunate that we got so close to each other again and now you're sharing happiness with someone else.

 

I will say, however, I didn't see this coming; now not only do I not know what to do or how to behave, I am upset that I let this happen. Upset with myself, upset with you for consciously distancing yourself from me and not talking to me about it. I hate that we can't talk about it. I can't help but think that I could have somehow stopped it... But a lot of me is glad you're experiencing someone else. Maybe she won't be what you're looking for. There's only one way to find out, right?

So much of me wants to move on and start dating someone else, too, but that wouldn't be fair to whoever that person would be. To be quite frank it would just be a front, a small but ill-intentioned way to pass time. A distraction from the realization that the person I'm with isn't the one I want to be with. The person I want to be with is unavailable.  I've been doing that for years, and I'm trying not to do that anymore. I've hurt a lot of people that way.

So I won't do anything irrational or impulsive, I will just keep doing what I do, and wish you all the best, with great sincerity.

<3

loneliness

what would I do without you?